I have depression/anxiety. Pretty bad. It hit hard and suddenly 6 years ago. Locked myself in a wardrobe and grabbed my gun and sat there contemplating ending it all for six hours…….. then I got help.
The last six months have been dark again. Not that dark that I wanted to end it again but just not light to guide me. No motive to do anything. No energy to look for a motive. Six years of drugs and therapy and I still have these times. Sleep, nightmares, rage, crying, eating, starving, not washing, not caring. Then boom, one day I get up. I shower. I go eat and look for things to do. Then all seems good again. But for how long? For how long? I know I am not alone, I know I need and I get help. I try to give help to others I sense are like me. We all need help.