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~ things that go on in my mind

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Tag Archives: life

Why do we feel?

02 Friday Sep 2016

Posted by Old Man Logan. in Uncategorized

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

anxiety, depression, depression and anxiety, Feelings, human, life, Mentalillness

It is hard to be positive 24/7. In fact i think it is impossible. With the amount of negativity in the world and the ease we seem to have access to it, via mms and online, it is going to het to you no matter how strong you are and how positive you think. But you know what? That is ok….we are human. To be human is to have feelings and we must feel all of these feelings sometimes to remind us that we are human.

My love is like a story book story……

15 Sunday Nov 2015

Posted by Old Man Logan. in Uncategorized

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

anxiety, better, death, depression, family, friends, help, job, life, love, wife, work

One day I met a girl. With in a few weeks I asked her to marry me. I don’t know why I did so soon but it felt right. She was perfect, sexy, smart, caring, funny and interesting. She was the one.
From the day we met I loved her and I loved her more everyday after that. From meeting till engagement was only a couple of months. From meeting till our wedding was one year nine months. Not long but we were young and in love. Some may have thought we were too young. 21 years old is young. But somehow we knew it was right.
By 25 we were parents and home owners. Our first-born came into the world three years after we were married. Again we were young to be parents and some may have thought so too, but again we knew it was right. Soon after we were expecting our second child. 14 months after our son was born we gave him a sister. How this woman put up with me, bought a house, worked full-time and had two children was amazing to me, but, again, she still had more to amaze me with.
When our daughter was born I fell deathly ill. This woman had a new-born baby, a one year old and now a husband in a comatose state and the doctors telling her he wont live thru the night. Six weeks went by like this till I “awoke”. However I wasnt better. It was several more months till I recovered fully and this woman was by my side everyday, every step. After this she put up with me going away all the time and never home on weekends with a very low paying job. She was there for the kids and me everyday.
Then one day she asked what I thought about moving to Brisbane with her job. I think it was this event that made me realize just how much I loved her. I said lets go, so we did, and again she put up with me not having work when we got here and going away again every month to paintball. Everyday she was still beside me when I awoke and when I went to sleep.
She had some issues that she told me about but i did not understand. She went and saw a doctor who said she had anxiety. I joked about it. Being all in her head. We were both working and earning well. Things were absolutely perfect. We owned a beautiful house, had the cars of our dreams, two perfect children (we thought so anyway) and most importantly each other. The. as the world would have it day turned to night.
In a few short months after our 40 th birthday and renewal of vows (one of the best days of my life) she was made redundant at her job. Not a major problem financially but emotionally is was. Again I didn’t really understand what she felt. I just knew we would be right. Then I had some personal issues. I went to a doctor and was told I have depression and anxiety. I left my job due to this. We were both unemployed and with “mental” illnesses and yet again this woman was there for me and still is in every way imaginable.

All through this we stayed together. We worked to get better, to heal each other. Now, two years later, we own a company that I now work for and she has another job using her skills that she loves. Hopefully soon we will be back where we were two years ago. Only this time we won’t fall.

This woman has been with me, for me and loved me for over twenty two years, twenty of them as my wife. In all of those years we have never had a fight, never gone to bed angry or upset and never stopped loving each other more and more everyday.

To others out there that are battling the black dog, keep fighting the good fight. Never be afraid to seek help or except it. And most of all, never drive your loved ones away.

To my wife, you are my heart and my soul, my wife and my life. My lover and best friend. I have always and will always love you. You are simply the greatest woman I have ever know.

Thank you for being “cookies mate” and cutting your fries up and for everything over the last twenty two years you have given me.

Two years have past.

31 Saturday Oct 2015

Posted by Old Man Logan. in Uncategorized

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

darkness, death, family, grieving, life, love, poem, remorse, sorrow

life is so short
when measured over time
but measure it it a different way
and i think that you will find
that certain lives
are long and fulfilling
full of joy and happiness
and god willing
love

love is all around us
but some of us do not see
until it is to late
for love to set us free
from hatred and from sorrow
and depression and remorse
no love in your life
will steer you on a course
of darkness

darkness can be overcome
with a shining light
and one thing that shines so
strong, intense and bright
can be found by all
if you just look around
at those that are there for you
with love they will surround
your life.

image

Everyone has Demons!

07 Wednesday Jan 2015

Posted by Old Man Logan. in Uncategorized

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

birthdays, demons, grand scheme, grieve, life, regret, regrets

As we get older birthday parties become fewer. Is this a human trait to prepare us for death? Stop the celebrating and get ready to grieve? Should we grieve? Life is a long time, a life time. So much happens in that time and yet we only think about it when a life ends. We think of good things with that life. We remember the ups and downs. We think of the regrets, should we regret anything? A regret is something you wish had happened, that you had the power to make happen, but you didn’t. Will your life change now it didn’t happen? Would it have changed your life if it did? Does it matter in the “grand scheme” of life?

Four funerals and a wedding.

05 Monday Jan 2015

Posted by Old Man Logan. in Uncategorized

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

cry, funerals, happiness, joy, life, love

Why do we cry at funerals? Is it because we are sad? I don’t think so. I cry for happiness and joy. All those people there for you are there because they love you. All those people that call or come by do so because they love you and that is what makes me cry. I cry with joy and happiness for I am surrounded by love. There is sorrow for the one gone. But we can not live in sorrow. Love is what defines us. Love creates and love builds lives over time. And in the end it is love that holds us together and brings us back to life.

life, love and happiness.

05 Monday Jan 2015

Posted by Old Man Logan. in Uncategorized

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

darkness, depression, happiness, hatred, life, light, love, shines, sorrow

life is so short
when measured over time
but measure it a different way
and I think that you will find
that certain lives
are long and fulfilling
full of joy and happiness
and god willing
love

love is all around us
but some of us do not see
until it is too late
for love to set us free
from hatred and from sorrow
and depression and remorse
no love in your life
will steer you on a course
of darkness

darkness can be overcome
with a shining light
and one thing that shines so
strong, intense and bright
can be found by all
if you just look around
at those that are there for you
with love they will surround
your life.

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